Comparative
Analysis of World Religious
(and
other) Philosophies
Buddhism: If
Shit Happens, it isn't really Shit
Zen (Rinzai):
What is the sound of Shit Happening?
Zen (Soto): Shit
just Happens
Hinduism: This
Shit Happened before
Islam: If Shit
Happens, it is the will of Allah
Nation of
Islam: Don't take no Shit!
Hare Krishna:
Shit Happens, Shit Happens,
Rama Rama
*ding ding*
Agnosticism:
Does Shit Happen?
Atheism: No
Shit!
Catholicism: Shit
Happens because you are BAD
Protestantism:
Catholics are full of Shit
Methodism: Let
Shit Happen to somebody else
Calvinism: Shit
Happens because you don't work hard enough
Lutheranism:
Shit Happens, but as long as you're sorry, it's OK
Anglicanism:
Shit Happens, but only to Lutherans
Mormonism:
Excrement Occurs
Baptist:
You're Shitting all wrong, and you're going to hell for it
Christian
Science: Shit is all in your mind
Existentialism:
What is Shit anyway?
Hedonism:
There's nothing like a good Shit Happening
Jehovah's
Witness: Knock knock. Shit Happens!
Televangelism:
Your tax-deductable donation can
prevent this
Shit from Happening
Fundamentalism:
There's no Shit in the Bible
Judaism: Why does
Shit always Happen to us?
Moonies: Only
happy Shit really Happens
Mysticism: This
is some weird Shit
Unitarianism: Go
ahead, Shit anywhere you want
Vegetarianism:
If it Shits, don't eat it
Scientology:
All this Happens to be Shit
Seventh Day
Adventist: No Shit on Saturdays
Amish: Shit is
good for the soil
Stoicism: This
Shit is good enough for me
Rastafarianism:
Let's smoke this Shit
Voodoo: Let's
stick some pins in this Shit
Twelve Step
Program: Shit Happens one day at a time
Environmentalism: Shit is
biodegradable
New Age: It's
not Shit, it's feldspar
( Colors don’t mean a shit –
Rafa ) J
From
www.gibbleguts.com